Hindsight is a great thing. We are all so good at looking back and saying ‘Oh if only I had done this or that’, or ‘If only I hadn’t said that/gone there/’….. the list of ‘what ifs’ goes on and on into infinity.
I was thinking along these somewhat distructive lines the other day and suddenly started to think about the real things I honestly wish I had thought/realised and known in the past. Not things like being smarter, how to attract a man, be better at this and that. No, the real things, the inside all-important things.
This is my list of the Ten Most Important Things To Tell Your Child.
1. I never really looked that fat. When I look back and think of all those years of hating myself and my body for not being what I wanted it to be. In my mind I was huge and I made my own life a misery because of this. I look at photos now and I think, “Hey girl you weren’t that fat, you weren’t that bad”. All that time wasted.
2. Appreciate NOW. Stop worrying about what has been, you can’t change the past, accept it. Stop worrying about the future, do what you can and leave it alone.
3. Ask your parents. Oh how I wish I had asked them all those normal questions that you ask of friends. “Where did you meet?”, “Who was your best friend at school?”, “What food did you hate when you were little?”. Very soon you won’t have your parents around any more to ask and those questions and history will be gone forever.
4. Embrace technology. Don’t label yourself as a technophobe and have to rely on other people to help you with technical things. Learn the basics right from the start, life will be far easier that way.
5. Excercise. When I think of how much I hated sports etc at school and the only thing in my twenties that I would run for was a bus. Make excercise just part of everyday life. Keep at it and it comes easily, make it a habit.
6. Patience. Take time to do things, don’t stress that something doesn’t work right away. Don’t keep rushing forwards, slow down. Give things, people, thoughts and words time to settle.
7. Keep in touch. “We must keep in touch” you cry as you wave off your friend at the airport. hmmmm, that was 6 years ago and you’ve never written since. Some people aren’t worth maintaining as friends, but there are so many that are, KEEP IN TOUCH with those.
8. Let things go. All those things big and small that hang in your mind and around your neck like a noose. Let them go, throw them away. Hanging on to negativity only serves to hold you back and pull you down.
9. Don’t panic. Oh the bain of my life, I come from a long line of panickers, I go into a tail spin at the drop of a hat. From normality to panic struck hysteria in a matter of seconds. Stop, think, the big bad monster really won’t get you! Relax, chill out, slow down.
10. Love yourself. As said before, you never were as fat as you thought you were, you were never that bad, that ugly, that useless. Give yourself a chance. You are your own worse critic, try talking to yourself as if you were talking to someone else. You’d never dream of insulting and berating someone else in the way you belittle yourself. Love yourself as you would another. You yourself are a human being treat yourself with love and respect, because you’re worth it!
Ten things I really wish I’d known all those years ago, they would have made such a huge difference in my life. Now I pass them on asThe Ten Most Important Things To Tell Your Child.
What would you add to this list?