Things can go from one extreme to another so quickly. Take the other day for example.There I was trying to buzz about and get various bits of France shopping done and food bought and of course get home before the daily deadline of the school bus.
I've never been known for my ability to multi-task. I'm a 'do one thing at a time' kinda gal. I have only discovered this personality trait the hard way, by trying to do loads at once and then being totally unsurprised when all the proverbial juggling balls fell on top of me at once.
Ergo, I have made it a goal to get all those bits and pieces of holiday shopping completed on one day. Oh yes, and while I am at the big shopping centre, might as well get the food shopping done too. Oh dear, are you seeing two balls in the air already here?
I am cutting it fine, queues at checkouts and people hunting for change. Deep breaths, keep calm.
Mission accomplished, shopping done. Should just make it home for the bus if I get a wriggle on.
Leap into Buggles and crank up the music. Sun shining, window down, yelling along to Paulo Nutini, all is well.
Well all was well until I was in the middle of Barrhead and people started flashing their lights and pointing at me. Hmmmmm music too loud, manic features in singing causing offense?
Suddenly notice that there are two little flasher signs bleeping away merrily on the dashboard. Try flicking indicators etc, nothing works. Risk life and limb changing lane without aid of indicators (they won't come on due to this flashing business) and pull over and park.
Assess situation. Try every leaver on the steering wheel. Enjoy an exciting display of fast and slow wipers, headlights, fog lights and obscure little bursts of squirty water for back window.
Man coming along the road, roll down window and ask if he can help. I have of course asked the world's only non-car man. "No idea, find someone with a car". Do I detect a whiff of Buckfast in the air? Maybe not the best man for the job.
Fiddle about with more flicks and buttons. Ashamed to say I now feel panic rising in my throat like an angry spider about to eat me alive. Tears are just too ready prickling behind my eyes, time is against me and I am getting this all out of proportion.
A young guy coming my way, is he old enough to drive, does he know how many wheels a car has? Don't care, abandon all pretense at coping and bleat out my sorry tale. "No problem man, you've hit the hazards button, probably with a CD". Sure enough there is a bright red triangular button situated just below the CD player, when joyfully lobbing Paulo into the player I must have knocked this delicate piece of technology and set an entirely stressy incident into motion.
Thank my knight in dodgy denims, switch off the hazards and continue on my way.
School bus just pulling away from the house as I whiz past neighbouring farm. Idgy sitting on gate when I screech to a halt, loaded with shopping and terrible tales of derry do with the hazards.
"Oh Mum, didn't you know that was the panic button?".
Of course I did darling, just slipped my overwrought mind……