Take a seat in my garden, my Dad's old chair from their garden in Musselburgh so many years ago. When I was a little girl this was a throne, I would pretend to be a Queen when I climbed up on to it and surveyed my teddies and dolls all sitting on the grass in front of me. It was a fort for my brother, it was a house, a mountain, a pirate ship, oh and maybe just sometimes a chair.
When my Dad died six years ago and Mum sold the house, this chair was what I really, really wanted as a momento from home, from my past, from my childhood. This worn old garden chair takes me right back. Every time I look at it I see Dad and memories of him flood my mind.
See him sitting in this chair, pipe in hand, looking at his pride and joy, his garden, his lawn.
This weekend marks the 6th anniversary of his death and the 90th anniversary of his birth, all within 24 hours. Isn't that amazing. When he was taken into hospital we rushed through to see him. It was Saturday 4th December, it was his birthday.
I sat on his bed, I was the little girl again, I was a teenager, I was a woman, I was a mother, I was a friend. "We should have a glass of wine to celebrate" he said, "Yes Dad, we'll do that soon". It completely broke my heart when he asked "When, when can we do it, will it be soon?". "Oh yes Dad, it will be soon".
Less than 24 hours later my Dad had died, he died on the very same date that he was born. Wow, how many people can manage to come into this world and go out on the same date.
It always makes the 4th of December a really sad day for me. A day of ghosts and memories, some ghosts come not from happy lands, some memories should be long forgotten and hidden from the light of day.
Seeing the chair with the snow brought back all those memories, I could not disturb the snow and the ghosts, I merely patted a little part of the chair that is free of snow. I touched it with love, and it touched my heart for the thousandth time.
I know this is the 2nd of December and the fourth is not till Saturday. How ironic that this year the 4th of December falls on a Saturday again, just like that day when he died. I should have saved writing this till Saturday, but I couldn't. I don't think I would be able to write these words, see these images in my mind. Maybe the days and dates will bring closure, I do hope so.
So on Saturday the 4th of December I will raise a glass as I always do on that date, I will see an old man sitting in that wooden chair, we will clink glasses and say "Cheers" just as I promised we would do when we last spoke together on the day he died.
Just an old wooden chair covered in snow. The snow hides the memories ingrained in every inch of the wood. Even with snow all over it, that chair still looks comfortable and safe.
Be comfortable Dad, be safe…..
love Karon x