There is rubbish everywhere this morning. Torn bags in the bushes and branches on the ground. The front door is a hazard in it’s own right and I am already a victim of wood wars! But I am getting ahead of myself. Do let me bore you to death with the tale of my sleepless night.
While the storm raged outside and the roof rub-a-rubba-rubba-ed all night long as the slates rippled from one end to the other and the phone wires swung alarmingly close to the window all was not quiet within these four walls.
The cats decided that this was no time for bravery so piled in beside me. This would be okay if I had a big bed and they were smaller. Well at least if dearest Berti were a tad smaller and less inclined to sprawl and hog the entire bed. This left Minou to decide where to put herself for best protection against the big bad storm and most warmth. A no brainer really, my head.
Not good at all. Fight off cat at head level and try pathetically to move legs from under dead weight of massive furry object – Berti.
A losing battle.
Decide to while away the time on laptop. Minou decides this is better than my head and tries to sleep on the keyboard. Give up laptop and turn off the light again.
Storm rages on…..
Sudden scraping noise and thumping within the room. OMG what the hell is it now. Both cats on the bed. Dreadful creaking noise and grating sound. Then I hear a tinkling and know that the culprit is someone slightly smaller than a cat and a lot more menacing. Polecat must be trapped somewhere. Put light on again and go in search of polecat. He has got his head stuck in door of cupboard at top of stairs. Resist temptation to leave the little sod stuck there till morning but realise his thrashing about is now breaking the woodwork. Release polecat who celebrates by chasing Minou round the house and wakes up Idgy.
Minou rushes past me at high speed followed by Idgy in her pjs and then the polecat grinning from ear to ear and having a great time.
Capture polecat and lock him in the kitchen.
We all retire to bed.
The storm rages on, the house rattles and groans. I dread the damage outside.
Berti sleeps on….
Finally time to get up and face the day. Open the front door to find that the two wall climbers (plants) have been blown over and are blocking the doorway. Try to heave the big pots back into place forgetting they are attached by the branches to the trellis that has now escaped the wall. Am now trying to drag/lift pots and sort of hoist the trellis at same time. This works to get them a few feet away from door but as I turn round to check there is clearance the ungrateful plant whips me over the face and I end up with horribly similar situation to the rowan tree incident of a couple of weeks ago.
Clutching eye and whining pathetically I go back indoors and moan at daughter about the weather, the cats, the polecat and the bloody plants.
Berti sleeps on……