Flowers really are Mothers Day aren't they. The whole florists industry rubs it's collective hands with glee at these momentous occasions throughout the calendar – Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Christmas. Those special days when flowers just seem the perfect gift.
I love flowers, all flowers. From those cheapos in the supermarket to the wild delights of the countryside.
This weekend I went to see Mum in the care home. As ever the slight tremor of trepidation before entering, that 'will she, won't she' feeling of the welcome before me.
There was no radiant bolt of sunlight highlighting and illuminating the room this time, in fact Mum was alone in her bedroom. A little frail old lady propped up on her bed watching the television.
She was pleased to see me and wanted my news ~ Idgy and school, friends and animals. But I could see a difference, I could feel a distance again. Oh no, don't get me wrong, she was still 'there' with me, but I could feel a lack of connection of other worldliness. 'You'd better go, you'll be late for your friends', this after only ten minutes, most of which were spent searching for vases for the flowers.
Instantly I feel hurt, rejected. Then I see her side, I see how she feels. She does not want to keep me from enjoyment, she thinks she is holding me back from a more interesting and happy time. She is saying, go to your friends and have fun, you don't have to sit here with me.
This is no rejection, no turning away of love.
Realisation dawns. I look at her with a clarity of vision I hadn't felt before, so tied up as I was in the bonds of me and my feelings.
I look at my little old Mum propped up on her pillows and I smile, in fact I grin, my great big on-telly grin. "I'm here with my friend Mum, I'm here with you. Now lets get a cup of tea and eat some of this chocolate".
No fancy flowers and chocolates for my Mum. Just the things she loves; an armload of daffodils from the garden and all her favourite chocolate bars – a veritable stash of delights!
This time last year I doubted she would see this day, I doubted she would know me. We've made it through another Mother's Day and we did it in style, our own style, in our own special way.
PS - Idgy gave her mum a bright red plastic bucket filled with car cleaning stuff and an IOU for 12 washes for Tigger!