Thank you all so much for your comments and emails. I was working on the laptop all day. I saw them coming in and couldn't bear to read them.
I waited till I had finished my 4 hour stint of book cover design and general computer learning curve (do hate that phrase) /stressy hassle time. I waited till 4pm, then I opened the emails, had a good cry and did the only possible mature and sensible thing…
Yes, I retired to the garden armed with an ice cold bottle of my favourite pink stuff. I lay back in the sunshine and just let go.
I accept I have done my best, have searched high and low, crawled through the hedgerows, searched those barns and walked that lane in every direction. Have put up posters in our village shop and post office, and contacted local vets. Short of alerting the national media I don't think I can do much more.
So there I was, I lay back in the sunshine with glass in hand. Emptied and filled the glass. Time passed. Lay in the sunshine until the sun went down.
Sometimes you just have to chill out, let it go. Sadness will pass.
Promise I will be back on form on Monday.