Ah the sunshine, good weather and sandals. Yes girls, time for the sandals, also time for the fake tan, but that's another story! Anyway back to the sandals.
If you are going to make a prat of yourself always do it with a certain amount of style and really go the whole way. Make sure that you give the moment full coverage and that at least one person will get the benefit of adding a titter to their day.
I managed to do this yesterday while en route to the studios. I was early so thought I would stop at the big shopping centre and have a coffee in the sunshine and maybe a quick scoot round the shops. All sounds very normal of course, I drive into the massive car park, am so very lucky in finding pole position in the parking stakes and pull up right outside the trendy Spanish inspired cafe where everyone is sitting outside enjoying lunch.
Now had I pulled up in my old blue Buggles car, the nondescript hatchback with a heart of gold, nobody would have even noticed what happened next. However I drove up in Tigger, all red, top down flashy attitude, and yes I did have the music on. Anyway I leaped (gazel like as always) from the car and strode towards the cafe. Quelle horror! A sudden lurch sideways, foot goes over and whammo, there I am heading for the deck. Instant panic, flailing of arms, loss of shades and I manage to right myself. The ship has not gone down, but she has made enough of a splash to cause the entire cafe to look round and laugh. One kindly lady rushes forwards to help me, but of course I am so embarrassed that I splutter 'of course I'm ok' as I pull myself together and step forward.
It is at this moment that I realise I have not got away with this adventure scot free. Oh no, there has been a fashion faux pas in the footwear department. My sandal has split right down the side. Yep brand new first time out and of course it flashes through my mind right away that i threw out the bloody receipt just the other day.
Anyway there I am with one working sandal and one flipper. Walking is difficult, somewhat ungainly and really not an ongoing prospect. There is only one thing for it, replacement shoes. So it is into the shops in search of fast replacements. Normally I would say grab the nearest pair of cheapo flipflops and run. After all I'm meant to be on live tv within the next 50 minutes. But of course I'm wearing my favourite long Levis and if I grab flipflops I'll end up having to roll the jeans up. Search is now on for a pair of sandals with enough heel to fit with the jeans.
I'm flying in and out of shops, well okay hobbling in the flipper footed style I've newly adopted. One pair is fabulous, soft and comfy and so damn pretty, but alas the five inch wedges would make me at 5' 8" over 6' tall and I need those extra height inches like Basil Brush needs a skateboard. Reluctantly I replace them and head into next shop well aware of the clock ticking.
There at last I spot a pair of simple sandals, just slip-on 2" heeled wedgies, nothing special, they are unobtrusive and comfy. Buy, wear and head back to Tigger. Did I get that cup of coffee at the Spanish inspired cafe? Alas no, but many of the crowd were still sitting there and watched my somewhat less dramatic exit.
Made it to TV land in time, stood same height as always and had a secret smile when one of the girls asked where i got my lovely sandals.