You know how sometimes you can lose something and have a wee panic trying to find it? Well this morning I woke up and hopped out of bed all seemed as normal. I kind of hobbled in usual style to the kitchen and made a cup of tea and of course my favourite breakfast of All-Nut Butter on toast. I was just making my way upstairs again to have my usual 6.30am breakfast in bed listening to Chris Evans on the radio, when I noticed something just as I was swinging my legs into the bed.
Something was missing.
This takes us to that feeling of losing something and the panic of the hunt. Well lets say you lost a ring while you were in bed. Of course you could have just twiddled your fingers together, had a scratch or something and the ring fell off. You would curse yourself and search the bedding to find it, right? Okay, normal scenario. Picture the scene when you notice the 4″ long metal pin that should be embedded in your toe is not there any more.
Is there panic, bet your ass there is! OMG how the hell did that happen? I shriek and leap off the bed. I madly search the duvet. I rip the sheets and duvet cover off, the quilt follows suit and then the pillow cases (well I don’t know how I imagined it would be in the pillow case but I was on a roll by this time). The bed is a mess of fabric, the floor is then a mess of tangled bed linen. I am hopping about in a complete state. Idgy comes in and laughs at my dilemma. “Come on Mum it must be somewhere” and calmly walks off to the loo.
By this time I think that as I can’t find the bloody thing there is only one possible scenario – it broke off during the night and I now have a very sharp object inside my foot that is not anchored to the outside world. Lunatic visions of it moving spring to mind. I shriek to Idgy that it could do all manner of damage and harpoon some vital organ. I hear laughter from the loo and know my daughter has a marked absence of sympathy for my plight.
Please God let me find the damn thing! I turn duvet inside out, I throw everything about and I search every inch of the sheets. Nothing.
It HAS to be somewhere, eventually I haul all the bedding out of the room and start moving things from around the bed. I search underneath, nothing. I move the curtains and the chair, zilch.
I am really thinking that the damn thing is inside me and working its way up to my heart as we speak. The situation is not helped by my lovely daughter suggesting that maybe the Foot Fairy had visited and taken it away and why didn’t I see if she’d left me a gold coin.
Decide I had better make the bed and might as well change all the bedding since it is all off anyway. As I am walking towards the door I notice something glinting beside the wardrobe – a good 8 feet from the bed. There it is, my very sharp, very strong metal toe pin. It is standing bolt upright and stuck into the carpet. Do not even ask me how the damn thing got there, I DO NOT KNOW!
So here it is with my poor hurt and mangled foot (yes I know, not a pretty sight but a damn sight better than it has been of late). How in heavens name did that thing come out of my toe and fly across the room and me not even feel it?
The pins are not due to come out for another 2 weeks but as I have an appointment with the surgeon next week I hope he will just take the other one out too. Have checked though and the other pin just ain’t moving.
I got my own back on Idgy. “Look I’ve found it” I yelled clutching the pin and waving it at her. “Urgh Mum you so gross me out sometimes, I don’t want to see that thing, yuck!” she moaned and headed out of the house and to the general normality that is school.
Never a dull moment in this place.