Or may I call you Bing? Bing is such a friendly sounding name and I feel I have known you all my life, so Bing sits better as an introduction to this, my first ever letter to you.
I am writing to you in the great here-after, that snow land in the sky, to ask, no, beg you to take the snow away.
I know it is all my fault that we have so much snow. After all I have been wishing for that elusive 'White Christmas' ever since I first heard your dulcet tones all those years ago.
Every year I have religiously watched your film and sang along to every song, especially that special White Christmas number.
The thought of those magical flakes drifting down on the Big Day. The blanket of crispy crunchy snow that makes that weird scrunch sound when you walk on it.
The world being softened by the white blanket, the trees etched against the sky.
People bundled up in cosy warm clothes, scarves, gloves and funny hats.
Snowballs, sledging and skating on the pond.
It is all so romantic and to my mind all wrapped up in that song, your song, White Christmas.
You have built this image in my head (and that of a great many others I fear) of the romance of a White Christmas. I have wished all my life for this joyous and elusive event to occur.
Well I am thrilled to report that, yes we did get our White Christmas and a great many more people will have sung your song over the past few weeks and felt that tug to the heart-strings and nostalgia for the past.
So beautiful, so perfect, so, so Christmas.
Well Mr Crosby (back to formality here as I am going to moan), we have done the Christmas bit and it was great.
Many thanks for at long last providing the essential ingredient for the WC of our imaginings.
Now here's the crunch. It is now the 12th of January and we are all a wee bit tired of it. The frozen pipes, slippery roads, inability to get from point a. to point b., constant drip from nose and temperatures set at minus ten on a boringly constant level, yes Mr Crosby we have had enough.
I am prepared to take the blame, all that wishing for all those years. Well, now I am going to be all childish and say 'Enough, no more, we have done White Christmas, now lets get back to normal'.
So please Mr Crosby if you could possibly have a word with the Great Man up there and have him take the snow away, we would all be eternally grateful.
I remember you singing 'Blue Sky' in the same film, how about a bit of that.
I remain your lifelong fan regardless of this slight overkill in the WC department and wish you all the very best from all of us down here in Narnia.