Berti is a Bad Cat. In fact he has always really been called Berti-Badcat as it sort of runs together well. Hmmmm this week he has really lived up to his name.
That big fat bundle of fluffy, cuddly friendliness has been a right royal pain in the ass. His early rising habit (5am) can usually be dealt with by a groan and (heaven forbid) swear word from me from the depths of the duvet. Not so now, he has a new tactic – foot on face, his foot my face, and lets remember that he is a Big Boy. It is not so much a gentle pat on Mummy's face to ask her ever so politely if she would like to arise from her slumber and trot lightly downstairs to wield the cat food. No, it is more a demanding 1 stone of heavy weight purrer pushing his great meaty paw into your cheek with all the force of a power driver. Impaled as one is against the pillows, eyeball to eyeball with the face of hungry/angry/agitated pussy cat there is no contest. he wins.
Another little treat for us this week has been the 'Lets knock her phone/book/mug/chocolate (oops shouldn't have said that!!)/pens/remote control or laptop (thankfully the latter was too heavy even for him and didn't budge) off the table and see what she does'.
Maybe a cat physiologist would say he is lacking in attention and trying to tell us something. Maybe I should be sitting calmly beside him having a meaningful chat. Maybe he is complaining that there is now a lack of treats in the house. Hmmm maybe he is just being Berti-Badcat but has upped his game for 2010. I am sure he now thinks '*&%$ off Berti' is a term of endearment.
PS According to the TV today is 'Fat Friday' the day when most people give up their New Year diets. That can't happen to us because WE ARE NOT ON A DIET, we are cutting down and slowing down, changing ideas and not following someone else's strict plan, and heaven forbid paying good money for it.
My tip for today is something I have read up on of late and I have really tried to work on. Stop the diet drinks. I had always been a fan of Diet Coke thinking it has little or no sugar so must be great for slimming and keeping the weight off. Not so my dears, apparently the sugar substitutes that all the drink companies use creates a nasty reaction in your body. It makes your stomach think it should be getting real sugar so it gets all geared up and makes you want to eat/drink more to find the real sugar that isn't there in the drink.
I love fizz so I now just buy bottles of fizzy water (those cheapo own brands from the super market that cost only 15p for 2 litres) and just add some slices of lemon, orange or lime to it. Okay it isn't quite the same, but I get my fizz and I make up the flavours myself. Once I have developed a realistic 'Coca cola' flavour I will let you know as i scamper off to make my millions!!