Actually there is, inside me!
You see last night I went running with a friend. He suggested we ran 6k, okay I thought, managed that last week in Glasgow and have done about that at home, I can do this!
Well off we trot and at a real run too, I kid you not, no jogging for me! The sun is shining and I’m admiring the flowers, the wild raspberries, the grasses and the blue sky.All is well in the world.
I’m still admiring them in a slightly more jaded way by the time we pass the 3k marker. Now bear with me here, this is a beautiful long track through the countryside all clearly marked with your kilometre markers. The thing is you run to whatever mark you’ve chosen and then have to run back. So imagine my horror as we PASS the 3k mark. Hells teeth this means to get back we will have to do more than my 6k limit.
Does just a tiny smidgen of panic set in, hmmm betcha boots (or running shoes) it does!
We plough on. I say we, but he is bounding along like bloody Skippy and I’m fast failing in the sense of humour dept.
I toy with the idea of keeling over, falling gracefully (who am I kidding here!) into the raspberries and just dying quietly where I lie. Realise that the sympathy level from running mate will be well below zero on this move and would be left there till mangy foxes ate my bones.
Grit teeth, continue chanting mantras silently. Thank God he can’t hear them as they are fast turning into manic rants against cruel people who force others into unrealistic feats of endurance.
“Only another 3k to go” quips Attila The Run. Resist (only just) temptation to strangle him and carry on grimly.
“Wow, the 2k marker, we’re nearly there” – okay has Attila lost all concept of distance here, 2k is nowhere in God’s good earth anywhere near ‘almost there’. Carry on grimly.
“Only 1k left!”, he can still talk! This is SO unfair, I can hardly breath far less talk. By now every step is a trial, a torture and a hard won battle. Carry on grimly.
“Woohoo we did it!” This is me shreiking, this is me leaping in the air and high fiving, this is red faced, gasping and exhausted me. I’ve bloody well done it, run 10k and done it in 55 minutes.
I forgive Attila The Run everything, he has dragged me kicking and screaming into my very own record books. I’m thrilled.
Home to soak in the longest, hottest bath imaginable. What a day, what a run.
So today the trainers have a day off, they are posing in the garden with their garland of flowers and of course just a little G&T to celebrate.
This one’s for you Attila.