It really is the 'Count Down To Christmas' now. Every advert on television seems to be shouting the advantages of this toy over that, this perfume over another, and just how manly an aftershave can get. If you believed all the hype your kids would be perfect, happy and permanently brain trained, you would not only smell delightful, you'd have men at your feet, be flying trough Paris, and obviously be at least six sizes thinner and be wearing something made with pink frothy feathers, or acres of scarlet silk with diamonds at strategic places.
You'll also notice a multitude of ads for festive/party food. Oh how delightful and tasty a canape can look when presented by some not-quite-A-list celebrity. This will of course put your own once a year vol-a-vents to shame. You should feel guilty for thrusting bread sticks and dip at your friends and family. Don't they deserve the very best that this supermarket and that supermarket have to offer.It's not just adverts tho. The real push comes from the 'lifestyle' programmes, those that just happen to mention the most popular toys for this season. The 'must have' gifts and goodies that tempt and tease us into wanting something we had never even thought about.
That's just the television for you. Every magazine (including Your home with my house) is crammed full of articles and features promoting the perfect Christmas. From Victoriana to ultra modern monochromatic, designers and stylists would have us reworking our 'look' at the drop of a Santa hat.
So what if your 'look' is every decoration you have ever bought over the last 20 years and in every colour of the rainbow. Who cares if you still have paper chains and painted fairies that your kids (or you) made all those years ago in nursery class.
We are presented with perfect decor, pristine table settings and of course the perfect family gatherings and parties full of well behaved and impeccably dressed friends and neighbours. No sign of Uncle Harry passed out in the corner, or the teenagers getting it on in the spare room. Oh no, everyone is in the correct festive attire of stunning red velvet (aha! another use for those livingroom curtains, I shall turn into Maria from the Sound of Music at this rate and the damn curtains will turn up everywhere and on everyone from Idgy to the ferret!) cinched into a tiny waistline that has never seen a decent sized bag of crisps in its life, the men are resplendent in dinner jackets and maybe just a hint of humour about the bow tie, and children, well of course they are decked out in mini-me perfection (see red velvet and silly bow ties), even pets are posed in cute bandannas and silly hats, they are not throwing up all the canapes they scoffed or pooing in a corner. Oh no, this isn't life as we know it, it's Christmas!
It really is no wonder that the rates of depression and suicide go way up at this time of year. Most people just can't live up to the image of Christmas, the Christmas we are meant to be enjoying, the perfection presented from November to January everywhere we look.
I know I sell Christmassy things on my site and at the fairs but God forbid I ever come across as a festive fanatic ramming stuffed hearts and robins down peoples throats and insisting that they have more, more, more. Yes I have to sell my things to make money to live off and I'm not above the odd hint here and there that maybe a visit to my site would be a nice diversion and maybe you might just like the lovely advent box I've made at the top of this page , but please the moment you see me in red velvet, reaking of scent (perfume and aftershave of course), handing out improbable canapes whilst at the same time impressing all with my well toned brain-trained mind, patting my perfect mini-me children on the head and pulling the perfect cracker with Mr Right in a silk printed bow tie only available in the finest emporiums. Yep, you guessed it, just shoot me!!