Three things that should be avoided in a professional person, especially someone with the letters Dr before their name;
Haddock Hand – this is that pathetic excuse for a handshake (something that is meant to show you are open, friendly and unarmed, not damp, insipid and doubtful) and does not inspire confidence. In fact all it generates is the desire to scrub your hand madly on your jeans and hope to God you haven't caught anything. It also leaves you wondering how in heavens name this person has got to where they are in life with such a lacklustre greeting. A slimy semi-grip is toad like and gross, it makes the recipient feel like they have been presented with a slippery dishcloth that has been used to clean God knows what. This is definately not the best start for any meeting, interview or conversation.
Chair swinging – Oh yes we all did it as kids. Don't you remember your Mum telling you not to do it, because A – you'll break the damn chair, B – it looks slovenly and rude, and of course C – you'll fall off. Now while I'm not really bothered about said professional and whether he breaks the chair or falls off it, I do have to say that good old Mum was right all those years ago, it looks slovenly and rude.
Nose Picking – Yes you read it right. Nose picking. Always a definate no-no in my house, don't know about yours. It is one you had drummed into you, don't do it, it's rude, your brains might fall out, stuff like that. Now regardless of what might fall out (brains or otherwise), it really isn't a pleasant occupation for someone else to witness. If you really must do it, keep it for special private moments when nobody else is looking.
Okay, so why the list. Well yesterday I popped into the Doctors and saw someone new. A man I had never met. He covered himself in glory from the first minute we met, no waist level outstretched firm handshake from him, oh no, it was a limp damp paw held at about crotch level that left me wiping off my hands and wishing I had one of those sterile wipes on me. He then sat down and proceeded to swing on his chair, my my, doesn't this man look like he is paying attention here, doesn't he look interested. But then it just got better and better, he started to pick at his nose. Oh how very, very attractive. He started small, just a scratch or two round the edges, but hey, this was good, he felt he had to delve on in there for a proper scratch about. I sit there stunned that I'm seeing this, can't quite beleive that this man is supposed to be a professional. I've seen (and expect) better manners and presentation from a ten year old boy. Maybe this man feels that he is above all the common niceties of life and that he is being free to be himself. Maybe he is a 'Take me as I am' kinda guy. Maybe he is just gross.
Needless to say I shall never darken his door again. I left that room, no sorry, I fled that room, feeling better just by leaving his presence. Suddenly my throat felt better, I felt healthy just by getting out of there.
Back to the honey, lemon and thyme.
So when someone approaches you with a limp wet paw, then sits back on his chair ready to lean back and look disinterested. Beware, you are only a mere whisker away from his next pleasing performance – yeeeeuuuuugh, lets not even go there again…..