Ah the joys of animals. Where would we be without our furry friends?
Without mine I might have a good nights sleep last night.
I have come to the conclusion that a shark would be a better pet when it comes to getting a good nights sleep. After all Mr Sharky would not be lurking round the house, he would be in a tank somewhere minding his own business. He would not be causing mayhem.
It all started when I was wrenched from the arms of the lovely Mr Depp (obviously in full pirate outfit, hair, beads, flamboyant shirt, sword….. need I say more) at 3am. Hark, what did I hear that aroused me from such slumber and passionate dreams?
Twas the delicate sounds of a hairball about to be evacuated onto the carpet.
This is a sound guaranteed to make me leap from the bed in hopes of saving the carpet from another gross attack and me from another chore of scrubbing the damn thing.
So I make my semi-slumberous leap/stagger from the bed, alas I am firmly attached to the duvet cover by my left foot which seems to have wrapped the cover round and round it in an attempt to stay with Mr Depp and the lovely dream – I crash to the carpet.
Lurch around in the dark trying to find the light switch and knock over cold cup of chamomile tea that had lulled me into slumberland in the first place. Curse as cup and contents meet me on the floor.
Cat leaves room at high speed and prepares to chuck up on hall carpet. Please note, there is only one carpeted area in this entire house, the bedrooms and tiny piece of upper hallway, all else is wood or stone and easily cleaned. Carpet of course holds a magnetic attraction to cats.
This time I am in luck, I grab the cat and stagger downstairs with him and get him outside without further incident. This has of course awoken cat number two. He now uses his grating voice to demand food. For God's sake it is 3.30am, food, what is he thinking of! Encourage him to view the night time world via the back door.
My feet are now frozen on the cold stone floor. I am temptingly close to the fridge – just a little something…
The bed is cold, there is a puddle of chamomile tea on the carpet. Mr Depp has deserted me, my pirate ship has sailed.
Can't get to sleep.
Strange noise is now keeping me awake, a nasty toneless yeowing noise. It is coming from outside. Peer from window to see two feline faces looking up and serenading me.
Contemplate having nice quiet tank encased shark as pet, realise there could be certain drawbacks to this plan. Loss of limb when playing with pet could be one thing. Inability to have pet on lap while watching tv of an evening. Cost of feeding said shark and possibility of local farmers noticing missing livestock if I try to budget and just feed it sheep etc. The tank itself, would have to convert entire downstairs into some sort of aquarium, as I have never been successful at keeping goldfish this may well be beyond me.
Hmmmmm, give up on shark idea.
Bloody animals, who'd have em!