I am inflicting my Christmas decor on you these days. I have to hold my hands up and admit that not all is perfectly tasteful and in the slightly-muted and ever-so-ellegant style that the average lifestyle magazine would suggest. I am more of a collect-it-over-the-years-and-throw-it-all-together sort of gal.
Yesterday was a whirlwind of rush and driving. A bit like that film with John Cleese many years ago, Clockwork l think it was called. Anyway, here goes – Start the day in good time with the usual best intentions of getting everything done with time to spare. Obviously didn't think that one through!
Had hospital appointment (boring business re foot, nothing dramatic) at 10.15am in Ayr. Drive over there and after tour of three car parks finally find a space. Scamper into reception and the lady at desk kindly informs me that l am at the wrong hospital. Not to panic, l should be at the community hospital in a village just a few miles away. In fact just go back down the road and turn by the garden centre and carry on from there.
Leap back in car and head for garden centre. Think l will be able to enjoy a nice cappocino and wander round there after my appointment. Afterall it is 'just down the road' isn't it. Keep driving, and driving, and driving. This bloody village and hospital is miules away. Spot signs for Dumfries, now hang on, that is getting near the English border, where the hell am l going. Am l panicking, am l stressed out – go on guess!
After 55 minutes l find the village and hospital. Oh God, another hospital car park. This time l don't even bother with the obligatory tour of the car park, l just abandon the damn thing on the grass by the gate. Leap out and rush towards the main doors, promptly slip on the ice (did l forget to mention the weather conditions) and end up entering the building in a less-than-graceful dive motion that wouldn't go amiss on 'Dancing on Ice'. Lots of people rush to my aid and l blather about being perfectly okay in the usual best of British style that can hide everything from a bumped knee to amputation.
Make it in to hospital full of apologies for my apalling lateness. No worries says the receptionist, the consultant is running a wee bit late. Eventually see him at 12.30 and he can't find my X-rays on their new computer system. 'Lets get new ones', ok l now run down the corrador in bare feet clutching boots and bag and get X-rays done. Then we decide that as it is such a long trek to this hospital l might as well get pre-op tests done too. Point out that l must leave by 1pm as l have another doctors appointment back at home at it will take me at least an hour to get back there. Once he has got me to stop moving the consultant tells me that as he is doing main op on one foot he might as well do smaller op on other foot at same time. Will only be flat out for one stretch of time instead of two separate ops etc. What a clever idea, but have we taken into account the fact that l will be flat out with both bloody feet in plaster, what joy!
Finally make it out of there and think longingly of that coffee l had so looked forward to at the garden centre. No chance of that as l speed off homewards towards the next appointment. Just make it in time at 2pm and practically fall into the surgery. Hmmmmm any idea why your blood pressure could be high today? Resist temptation to tell them.
PS I am loving your 'Coping with Christmas' comments, keep them coming to be in with a chance of the Goody Box.