Here we are on Saturday, the weekend, a bit of time and space to relax. so sit down and grab that cuppa and let me tell you a wee story.
Yesterday on the Jeremy Vine show on Radio 2, the host was chatting to his gardening buddy and the gardener was saying that as Autumn was almost upon us (it apparently starts officially on 21st September) it was making him think back over the past year and this year itself starts to wind down into winter.
That got me thinking about this year and the things that have happened chez moi. This was meant to be My Year, the big five-o being a bit of a milestone (or should that be millstone!) and something to celebrate. I had all sorts of plans, hopes and dreams for this big year of mine.
However I didn't take into account the fates, life or just bad luck. I don't honestly think I could imagine all the things that have come together this year, it has been a time to look back on and shudder. My darling brother's cancer, Mum's dementia, depression, business problems and money issues, divorce, health hassles. It all piled up, one thing on top of another until it seemed that nothing, nothing could ever be right. The depression fed on everything else, some days it just didn't seem worth going on.
Trapped in the house with everything crashing around my ears I clung on by writing. I wrote my herb book, immersed myself in the subject I love, lived by the photos and images, words and plans. It didn't matter that nobody would publish my book, it was the book that mattered, the fact that it was There and that I made it. To me 'So Easy Herbal' is a talisman, it got me through the worst year of my life.
Now why is she drivelling on about this I hear you ask. Well the reason is simple. I had a dream when I was trapped on the sofa and started writing my book. In my mind I saw myself smiling and happy. I saw myself with this finished book in my hand, and I saw myself on a particular television programme (The Hour) talking about my book and showing people how to make the things in it. Real pie in the sky stuff when you think about it. Come on what right did I have to even think that anyone would buy a book of mine, and come on Karon, you, on television? But it was My Dream and I held on to this vision in my head whenever things were bad, and boy they have been.
Now making a dream become a reality isn't easy. There is a line in the film "Field of dreams", "If we build it, they will come". A real case of having the dream and hanging in there with it. Well I built my book and have sent out all the press releases and done all the things you should do to beat the PR drum, would they come?
Well guess what guys, the dream of me holding the book and smiling is just about there. In fact if you are in Scotland and switch on your television set on Monday evening at 5pm and go to STV, you might just see me on "The Hour" making that soft little dream that some people laughed about, come true.
NEVER give up on your dream, never, never, never.
Now the winner of the giveaway copy of "So Easy Herbal" that I listed last week is Carin. Please send me your address and I'll post your copy off to you right away.