The two troublemakers at rest.
Yesterday dawned bright, sunny and windy. Decided to strip the beds and get some washing done. First load from my room is fine, all washed in a trice and hanging on the line. Ah the joy of fresh laundry blowing in the breeze………..
Stripped Idgy's bed and loaded the machine. A while later l go to empty the washing machine. I see red. Literally. There is red sticky stuff everywhere. It is almost glowing and jewel-like, actually it would be rather pretty if it weren't on my washing.
Drag all washing out, it is everywhere. Those nice white sheets are now pink splattered and with spotty red sticky bits. And then l find it, inside a duvet cover. An open packet of wine gums.
Listen carefully, here comes the science part.
Wine gums + hot water + tossing about in washing machine = melted wine gums and their charming colour all over everything. They will not disolve completely, they will keep about 30% of their body mass and cling manfully on to your washing, meanwhile oozing mixed colour everywhere.
Throw trantrum over washing incident and am assured by Idgy that the wine gums were last viewed in the livingroom. The culprit is found, he is even armed with one of the bloody wine gums under Idgy's bed – Harry.
Abandon the washing and decide to go to Tesco in Irvine for food and hopefully a new dvd to watch. Idgy and l head off. Phone rings twice furing the 20 minute journey and Idgy tries gamely to get it out of my pocket. It gets wedged under the passenger seat.
Arrive at Tesco and try to sort out the missed call bit on the phone without the aid of my glasses. Just loading my trolly when the phone goes again. I'm ready, l have it in my hand, it scares the life out of me by ringing and l drop it smartly into the frozen food selection.
Retrieve phone. It is Colette on the line. 'Your house alarm is ringing merrily, been down and all looks fine but you had better get back smartish before the police come'. Words do not fail me here, l swear loudly and rush round stuffing anything l can into the trolly. Find daughter knee deep in Primeval stuff in kids dept. Mad rush out of store and less than calm drive home.
Ah there they are, the best of Strathclyde boys in blue filling my yard. Have horrible feeling l know exactly what has happened to set off the alarm. However l do the right thing and usher the constabulary into the house to check it all. All is calm and quiet within, okay it is a mess, and yes maybe the mud room does look a tad incriminating with sheets piled everywhere all with red goo and splats all over them. Had something happened they politely inquired, no said l, but it was about to.
House is fine so we move on to HQ to find out what has casued the trouble. My heart is sinking as we cross the garden, l just know what we will find. Ah yes, there he is, sprawled accross my chair enjoying the sunshine, completely oblivious to the fact that he has caused so much hassle – Berti bad cat.
Apologise to the police and offer coffee as compensation. Reload washing machine, unpack shopping and discover l have bought 6 packets of biscuits and no washing stuff.
Give up, pour a glass of wine and start eating the biscuits.