I had big plans for today, I should be sharing a recipe with you, I should be snapping photos and working on this new book. I should be doing so many things. I am covered in should and shedding tears again I’m afraid.
Yesterday darling little Finzean died in my arms, the photo above was taken just yesterday morning.
He had lost quite a bit of weight and looked frail. He had been enjoying fun in the stable chasing mice and being an outdoorsy guy for 2 weeks. Idgy reported that he looked thinner so I brought him back into the house for some pampering. He didn’t launch into his usual tricks of door rattling and climbing into and on to everything. There was no stealing and mayhem. Something was wrong with my little fuzzy friend.
I noticed on Wednesday that he didn’t come downstairs at all. Just stayed in his little fleesy sleeping bag that my lovely friend Sue made for him for Christmas. Well if Mohammed won’t go to the mountain and all that, I took food up to him instead.
Yesterday I brought him downstairs and he gobbled up a good breakfast but seemed a wee bit wobbly on his legs. He couldn’t manage the step down into the study, no wonder he hadn’t managed the stairs the day before. I knew this was a bad situation and dreaded looking in my ferret care books as I already knew what they would say.
In the afternoon his legs went completely and he could only drag them. I knew this was it. Phoned the vet and made the appointment. Gave him a lovely supper and sat with him on my lap for our remaining hours together. He seemed to know, sad beseaching eyes asking me to let him go.
We said goodbye at the hands of the vet, it was the kindest and the only thing to do. He had a tumor in his tummy that could have felled an ox. My brave and delightful little friend is no longer here, he is now burried in the garden next to Harry and my other beloved furry friends.
Finzean seemed to come into our little family just when he was needed last Spring. When old Harry was fading fast he gave him that new lease on life that boosted him up in his last month of life. He gave Idgy and I a boost when we lost Harry and were beside ourselves. He amused with his nutty antics and even his pesky persuits were guaranteed to bring a smile.
He was the sponge when Mum died and I didn’t know what to do. He made us laugh when we didn’t think we had a chuckle left in us.
Last night I lit a little candle for all my beloveds who have died in just the last 14 months. My Mum, Hank, Harry. Baby and now Finzean. So much death, so many tears, so much loss in such a short time.
So today is not the day for recipes and photos. It is just today, a sad day full of memories and one to get through.